3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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