do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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