If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
