Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize