I look better un-naked...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
