Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
