Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
we have pet lesbian snakes
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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