hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I would fuck him just for his dog
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
