Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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