we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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