You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
