haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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