O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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