their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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