If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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