If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
