Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
