we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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