i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
