Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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