So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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