I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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