I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize