Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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