When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
