I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
