i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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