You're so nebulous sometimes
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
