Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
