I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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