I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
