people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
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