new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
