I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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