I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
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You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
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sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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