we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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