let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
