got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
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I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
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You literally chaperoned my booty call.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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