I CAN MOONWALK!
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
