Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
pop tarts are not kleenex
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
