i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
