How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You have to summon your inner elephant
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
