But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
