thus making me awesome and them whores
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
