my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
