dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
