My room smells like vodka and shame
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
