You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
