so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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