Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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