Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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