I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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