At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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