We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
