you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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