You just made me feel so damn special
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
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i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
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REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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